I haven't talked about this too much but it might be good to just vent to the people who have invested time into watching this project grow. My ideas about music, art, people, social networks, outlooks....all of this stuff has been changing dramatically for me within the last few years. Pessimistic and optimistic perspectives have never really impressed me. Both extremes tend to resolve in laughable places. One entrenched in dramatic gloom, the other in a pseudo-fluffy frolicking through the meadows mentality.
From this point on, I'm firmly planting myself in realism. Realistic perspectives, for real situations with real responses. 2014 is my last year playing metal in any capacity. And my last to play hardcore may follow shortly thereafter. Outside of touring, I will not be playing in Massachusetts again. There's something about looking out to a crowd of snobby, affluent people who have never struggled a day in their life that makes playing a show almost funny. Growing up in the hood, I've seen all kinds of abuse. I've seen people lose their lives. I want to make sure my mark on this planet does something to prevent those things and not glorify them.
This year involves letting go of some toxic family connections. I hate the feeling of abandoning people, but sometimes you the weaker members of a pack are left behind. Natural progression. Sometimes I wonder if there is a point to trying to help people and better this miserable earth. What worries me is that if there isn't rhyme or reason I may not want to be on this plane of existence.